{"id":67,"date":"2008-06-29T13:31:09","date_gmt":"2008-06-29T12:31:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/79.170.40.175\/theinjurylawyers.co.uk\/injury-lawyers-blog\/?p=67"},"modified":"2008-06-29T13:31:09","modified_gmt":"2008-06-29T12:31:09","slug":"lawyers-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theinjurylawyers.co.uk\/injury-lawyers-blog\/2008\/06\/29\/lawyers-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"Lawyers Jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s our Top 7 lawyers\u2019 jokes of the day. Ok, so everybody mocks us and makes fun of us. There are probably more lawyers jokes<\/strong> out there than there are non-lawyers jokes (seriously!).<\/p>\n

I used to take mild offence at the level and sheer derogatory nature of lawyers jokes but not anymore – now I just appreciate that we are an easy target because we make up the butt of a very many funny jokes \u2013 So everybody likes to take a dig at the legal profession but hey which other profession can claim to have the best selection of jokes.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So rather than whinge and moan about all those offensive jokes about Lawyers out there, we thought we would share some of our favourites with you. So having done a bit of quick research on the internet and having spoken to a few other lawyers today, I have complied my top 7 lawyer jokes that I could find for today.<\/p>\n

Hell, if you can\u2019t beat them than join them I say. p.s. DISCLAIMER: Lawyers jokes are just jokes; they are not factual and in my opinion as a Lawyer they do not accurately portray the legal profession. In fact we could probably sue the joker makers for misrepresentation.<\/p>\n

Please post any jokes you feel are better than the list I have compiled.<\/p>\n

Lawyers Jokes :<\/strong><\/p>\n

7. Why won\u2019t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy!<\/p>\n

6. How many personal injury lawyers<\/a> does it take to change a light bulb?
\nOnly Three\u2013one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.<\/p>\n

5. Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
\nTake your foot off his head.<\/p>\n

4. What\u2019s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
\nA vampire only sucks blood at night.<\/p>\n

3. What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
\nAn offer you can\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n

2. Have you heard about the lawyers\u2019 word processor?
\nNo matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.<\/p>\n

1. The devil visited a lawyer\u2019s office and made him an offer. \u201cI can arrange some things for you, \u201d the devil said. \u201cI\u2019ll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you\u2019ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife\u2019s soul, your children\u2019s souls, and their children\u2019s souls rot in hell for eternity.\u201d
\nThe lawyer thought for a moment. \u201cWhat\u2019s the catch?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s our Top 7 lawyers\u2019 jokes of the day. Ok, so everybody mocks us and makes fun of us. There are probably more lawyers jokes out there than there are non-lawyers jokes (seriously!). 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