A man in Worcestershire was knocked off his motorbike by a low-flying swan.

An ambulance was called to the scene, and the man was taken to hospital for treatment on his broken collar bone.

Unfortunately the biker was unable to make a claim, because I’m afraid you can’t sue a swan. However, I’m sure if he could have then the bird in question would have had a large settlement to pay out.

It’s only the other week a man fell off of his ladder because a Pigeon flew at him. These animals are out of control.

Next it’ll be bulls charging into the back of cars causing whiplash and bees covering your wind screen causing you to spin out of control.

After a night out with her friends drinking, Miss Dudfield was dared to flash passing cars on a busy road in the city of Invercargill. She was positioned on a strip in the middle of the road and ‘successfully’ flashed a few cars when her dare suddenly took a scary turn.

Miss Dudfield told reporters that she had seen a car coming toward her and decided to run. Unfortunately she was unable to get away and she was hit by the car. Miss Dudfield found herself in hospital after she had rolled across the bonnet of the car and cracked the windscreen! Luckily she managed to escape with only a few minor bruises and cuts.

Miss Dudfield has now been convicted of disorderly conduct and received a monetary fine for her frivolous stunt.

The young girl has spoke out to encourage other youngsters to think twice before carrying out such stunts as it ‘hurts when you get hit’.

We’ve all been there; a drunken night out and a few of your friends (or even you, I see your thinking!) decide to pull what seems to be a funny stunt. Unfortunately the funny stunts don’t quite turn out how you expected and someone can get hurt.

You don’t want to end up being ‘exposed’ in the media as Miss Dudfield did!

According to The Times, the stunt was organised by Confused.com, and took place on Somerville road in Worcester. The entire street was covered in 1,500 square feet of plastic sheeting in an attempt to “highlight the need to be careful when behind the wheel”. Nothing escaped the wrapping, with trees, pavements lampposts and cars all wrapped in the bubble wrap to protect users of the road, which is known locally as “Accident Avenue”.

The activity was partially designed as a response to the increased number claims being made on insurance policies due to accidents caused by the recent snowy conditions with Will Thomas, head of motor insurance at Confused.com stating that some insurers had seen a “41 per cent increase in claims compared with a normal non-snowy period.”

He also said that “It would have been great fun to do this for every street in the UK but sadly we ran out of bubble wrap“.

It certainly would make getting from A to B a lot safer if all our roads were covered in bubble wrap, but I’m not sure it would reduce the number of traffic accidents. Can you imagine the difficulty in trying to drive with your windscreen covered in bubble wrap? It might prove to be a bit impractical. Also, I’m not sure I could deal with that popping noise everywhere I went all day long!

A Christmas Kiss: mistletoe is poisonous, and can even cause hallucinations so keep it well out of the way of children. Other festive plants that are dangerous include the Christmas rose and Christmas cherry.

Christmas Dinner: as tasty as it is, traditional Christmas dinner can present its hazards. Preparation runs the risk of nasty burns and cuts, so extra care should be taken. Always make sure the turkey is cooked properly to avoid food poisoning, visit eatwell for guidelines. Also be careful if you are keeping the tradition of hiding 6 pence pieces in Christmas pudding as this presents a choking hazard. Alternatives such as hiding six pence pieces under bowls or place mats are worth considering.

Deck the Halls: but do it carefully. Never use unstable chairs or a table to reach some where high, use a safe step ladder instead. Always keep an eye on children, many decorations run a high risk of choking. Fairy lights can be dangerous, make sure that old lights are still in a safe condition and that the wire and bulb are all intact. Also try and keep all cables tucked away to avoid trips and falls.

A Christmas Tipple: we all have one, but keep it down to a minimum and never drink and drive.

Hope you bear these tips in mind for the festive season and Merry Christmas.

With this in mind we have carefully drafted a Personal Injury survival guide.

Don’t pull the cracker too hard! – it was reported that 4 people last year were admitted to hospital with a broken arm after being a little too enthusiastic with the cracker pulling.

Men please try to avoid turning into big kids – 5 of us were injured last year due to out of control Scalextirc cars.

Family rows, with you all under one roof and with the mulled wine flowing freely it might worth forgetting the things that annoy you about your family members and instead opt for the sentiment of ‘good will to all men’.

And finally although it is the season to overindulge it might worth remembering that during the festivities of the year 2000, eight people cracked their skulls after overindulgence heading for the bathroom.

Hope our guide helps and ensures an injury free Christmas.

I used to take mild offence at the level and sheer derogatory nature of lawyers jokes but not anymore – now I just appreciate that we are an easy target because we make up the butt of a very many funny jokes – So everybody likes to take a dig at the legal profession but hey which other profession can claim to have the best selection of jokes.

So rather than whinge and moan about all those offensive jokes about Lawyers out there, we thought we would share some of our favourites with you. So having done a bit of quick research on the internet and having spoken to a few other lawyers today, I have complied my top 7 lawyer jokes that I could find for today.

Hell, if you can’t beat them than join them I say. p.s. DISCLAIMER: Lawyers jokes are just jokes; they are not factual and in my opinion as a Lawyer they do not accurately portray the legal profession. In fact we could probably sue the joker makers for misrepresentation.

Please post any jokes you feel are better than the list I have compiled.

Lawyers Jokes :

7. Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy!

6. How many personal injury lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only Three–one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.

5. Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.

4. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.

3. What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can’t understand.

2. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

1. The devil visited a lawyer’s office and made him an offer. “I can arrange some things for you, ” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, and their children’s souls rot in hell for eternity.”
The lawyer thought for a moment. “What’s the catch?” he asked.

The Law isn’t Complicated …

That’s right! All you need is a large dictionary and thesaurus to figure out all the fancy words and terms they give to everyday normal words and your good to go. Understanding past cases and underhand tactics the other side may throw at you shouldn’t really be a problem.

Y’know, once they see that you haven’t hired the services of an experienced injury lawyer they’ll show you the admiration you deserve and go easy on you. Won’t they?

Evaluating Your Injury …

That car crash you were involved in recently where the other driver slammed into the back-of-your car and now you have whiplash. Where do you start to put a price tag on that? I mean how much are you really worth? How do you go about evaluating the injuries you received?

Who would you ask to find this information out?

Erm … let’s see, who is best suited to understand what my injuries are worth after suffering an accident through no fault of my own … tough one that!

Insurers Always Pay-Out …

As soon as they hear you have hurt yourself they’ll be falling over themselves to write out a cheque for you. I mean that’s what insurance companies do … isn’t it?

Insurers never try and pick your case to pieces! They won’t ever state your compensation claim is fabricated or that you have mistakenly got some of your facts wrong.

Nope, insurance companies would never do that because they always pay-out, don’t they?

No Legal Fees …

You don’t have those fees to pay for an injury lawyer because you didn’t hire one. No matter that the majority of injury lawyers run under “No Win No Fees claims” where if you win – you don’t pay or if you lose – you don’t pay.

The Injury Lawyers have the proud record of NEVER charging any of their clients who pursued a compensation claim.

There you have it then – some examples of why not hiring an Injury Lawyer is a good idea – mostly good for the other side that is.